Finally- here is the healing part to the last few blogs.  If you noticed what feeling(s) you had that were uncomfortable, and perhaps you even took a deep breath and became aware of a time in the past that you felt the same way, then you can go back to heal that old wound.

Close your eyes and see yourself when you first remember  having that feeling.  If you dig deep enough, you may discover it started sometime in your childhood.  Now imagine a loving adult, (which could be you), a spiritual higher power or someone you admire and trust, coming in and comforting you or protecting and standing up for you in that time of pain.  Perhaps it would be the words you might say to a friend if they were in that situation.  It would be loving kind words of healing, hope, encouragement, understanding and love etc.  Keep your eyes closed and soak in those words and the feeling of love being expressed to you.  Feel it in your soul and heart and visualize it healing that wound inside of you.

It may take more than once to get a sense of healing, on the other hand, sometimes once is all it takes.  This process is powerful and I probably didn’t give it the full explanation it needs, partially because it is within a blog setting, but perhaps it will be useful to you.  Something to remember is-  don’t turn your happiness over to anyone.  You are in charge!

So how did it go?  Did you play the ‘no one is going to mess with me today’ game, mentioned on the last blog?  Whether you played the game for the entire day or just an hour, or whether you were able to not let anyone mess with you or not, doesn’t matter.  You played the game!  Congrats!  That means you noticed, were aware of your emotions and how you allow or don’t allow events or others to get under your skin and ‘mess with you’.

Play the game again, but for a longer period of time.  Again, notice if something or someone bothers you.  Then take it one step further by asking yourself, “What is the feeling I have about this thing or person bothering me?  Have I been bothered like this in the past?  When?  What was happening and how was I feeling?”  See if you can  notice a common thread or feeling in any of the memories you recalled.  Great!  Now you have something to work with.  Watch for the next blog to move to the next step.  Enjoy the game!

It always feels great to have a new start, a new beginning, a clean slate.  To me, that is what the New Year offers.  It’s an opportunity to let go of some old beliefs and recommit to new, more healthy ones, maybe like being happier.   But wait, that’s pretty overwhelming and much too vague.

So begin with this-  You will start with you, and I will start with me.  Isn’t that really the only person we are totally in control of?  Here is the game.  Refuse to let anyone, anything, or any circumstance rob you of your happiness and well-being for 1 day.

What does that mean exactly?  That means that when someone cuts you off on the freeway, or your child comes in past curfew, or you don’t have any clean underwear, you absolutely refuse to get upset or let that person or situation control you and steal your happiness.  It doesn’t mean you have to like what happened, it just means you refuse to have it mess with you.  If 1 day seems too long then start with 1 hour.   Simply refuse to give your happiness up to anything or anyone.  Be in charge of YOUR happiness and it will start to grow!

You know how we always want kids to experience the consequences of their ‘not-so-good’ choices, hoping they will ‘learn their lesson’?  So, WWW & W is the flip side of the coin, so to speak.  It’s the upside, or the positive consequences for things that Went Well.

EXAMPLE-  Let’s say the WWW & W- is “I got to school on time without having to run down the hall to class.”  Why? “Because I put my stuff in my backpack last night and then put it right by the door, so all I had to do was grab it this morning.  No scrambling at the last minute for where I had put my homework or my backpack.  It was all ready to go!”

Now as parents or educators we can point out that the child was accountable for creating his/her own ‘non-rushing, on time’ experience.  Perhaps encouraging them to notice “How does that feel?” and “Was that empowering?” and “If I want to feel that way again, then how?”  Yep, by repeating the same action of packing your backpack the night before.  Now that’s POSITIVE accountability!

 

In yesterday’s blog I promised to explain the importance of ‘why’ in WWW & W.  So, when looking at something that went well in your day ask yourself ‘Why did it go well?’  Sometimes you will find it is because YOU did something that made it go well and when you can identify what YOU did to make it go well, ta-da! YOU can give yourself a pat on the back and now YOU know how to do it again.

Example:  What Went Well –  ‘I made it to work on time.’  Why?  ‘Because I got up when the alarm rang and had ample time to drive to work.’  So, your actions caused you to get to work on time.

Example:  What Went Well –  ‘My friend and I laughed at lunch.’  Why?  ‘Because I took the time to call and invite him/her to lunch and we focused on positive, fun past memories.’   So, your planning and initiative to invite him/her to lunch brought about a good time for both of you.

Using WWW & W with your students and in your own life will increase everyone’s happiness.  See if you can write down 3 WWW & W each day this week.  ENJOY the results!